Gratitude

From Donald Miller's book To Own a Dragon

The chapter is about girls. Miller's friend asked him if he felt he deserved to be in a relationship with a female. Miller thought it a strange question and explained so in his hilariously quirky way!

His friend went on to say that he had concluded that he didn't deserve his wife. He found it incredible that she chose to spend the rest of her life with him. His friend said he was grateful.

Miller's friend went on to say that often we use other people and romantic stuff to validate ourselves. True love involves gratitude and being overwhelmed that another person chose to share life together.

Miller summed up the chapter by wondering if love from ego versus love from the heart signalled a transition to maturity.

I began to tell Danna about what I felt was this incredible insight from the book. I started to get choked up! As I explained the words I wrote above, I began to cry and I made her cry. It is incredibly humbling to realize she chose to share life with me. I don't deserve my Angel. I call her that because she is an Angel. Yes, we have our struggles but she loves me in spite of myself. I am in awe of our relationship.

I also told her that it is so much different than my previous marriage, thankfully!! Anybody that has heard me talk about that phase of my life has heard me readily admit I made many mistakes. One big one was being too immature to get married in the first place. I was mature from a worldly, having my goals which drove me, point of view. I didn't have the maturity or the humility to know I needed God. Life was about me. I wasn't grateful.

God saw me through my immaturity. I haven't arrived, by any means. However, he has blessed me tremendously with a wonderful woman who is truly my Angel!!

After we both cried for awhile, I said a line I have said a lot. "I have become my Mom!!" I was puzzled as a kid why she cried when she was happy. It made no sense to me at all!! Now, it DOES!!!!

Burned Up Stuff or Burned Up Self?

I Corinthians 3:10By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. 11For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. 14If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. 15If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.

Matthew 25:31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

Are the works discussed in I Corinthians similar to the works in Matthew 25? Do you notice that in Matthew 25, the cursed call him Lord as well? Do you think they were baptized? Do you think they asked Jesus into their hearts? However or whenever you think someone is saved, does the cross and the grace of the cross cover over ignoring the people described in Matthew 25?

Are these passages talking about different people?

Is my stuff, my works going to get burned up or am I going to get burned up?

Somedays I do OK with having good works and occasionally I help a person like mentioned in Matthew 25. Will God's grace cover 5o times? 40 times? 30 times? 20 times? 10 times? 1 time? No times?

How do you know if your faith is growing?

How do you know your faith is growing? How do you measure faith growth?

Work Out Your Own Salvation?

I don't think going it alone in trying to become transformed into the image of Christ is a good idea.

Following the crowd is not a great idea either.

So how and why is it important to work out your own salvation?

I guess the first reason is because the Bible says so (Philippians 2). I think the other reason is that ultimately, I am going to be judged as an individual. From what I understand, the judgement discussed in Matthew 25 is an individual judgement. What did I do in this life for other people? How did I show my love for God by taking care of my neighbor?

Have you ever thought about your neighbor as a very legalistic religious organization in which you might find yourself? Am I supposed to love them? Take a look at Matthew 23:1-3.

1Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: 2"The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. 3So you must obey them and do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach.

I had never focused on the first sentence of verse 3 before. I must confess past sins of hammering organizations and doctrines. I must repent.

I also think the rest of verse 3 is key for individuals in any religious organization. Am I doing what the organization says I need to do or am I doing what I feel I need to be doing? Am I looking to what Jesus says he is going to judge me on as an individual?

It seems to me to be very dangerous if I was to think that my association with a religious organization who has convinced me they have the right answers guarantees my salvation and prohibits others. What if I don't take care of others? What if I don't love my neighbor?

I think I need to respect and love people in such organizations, associate myself with people who will help me and hold me accountable on my transformation journey and work out my own salvation by doing what Jesus said for my neighbor. That is a challenge!!!

Thank you Jesus for grace, but am I relying on that to cover over my selfishness in all too often ignoring my neighbor?

Satan's Most Effective Tool?

I wonder if Satan's most effective tool is getting us to believe we have to do something big?

I think he understands that if we obsess about doing something big, we are frozen. We downplay "little" things. We tell people "it was nothing" which is often a way of saying I wish it was bigger.

Satan is effective in getting us to focus on a goal and not the journey. Every step of the journey is exquisite. There are no little steps. Exquisite and little do not equate!

Getting Old is Interesting - I Think!?!?

It occurred to me that one of the things I wanted to discuss in my last post, I forgot to add before I published! Getting old, wow!!

What I was going to add about the parable of the shrewd manager:

Do you think that God had passages like this in the Bible to remind us that he is so much bigger than us, our doctrines, our thoughts about whether people are right or wrong, our interpretations of what scriptures mean? Do you think he threw us certain curveballs to remind us we are not to sit around and try to figure him out? We are not to try to develop a flawless theological doctrine? Perhaps we are to read, contemplate, study so that we can be, so that we can spread life?

Back to Questions

I was thinking today that I have been getting away from the main reason I started this blog stuff - asking questions because I don't have answers. The more questions I have, the more I figure out that often, there are no answers.

Interestingly, in Rob Bell's book Velvet Elvis that I recently read, he talked about how in the Jewish educational system, the way you demonstrated knowledge was by asking questions. I think I am on the right track in asking questions but I am afraid my questions don't demonstrate any knowledge.

Anyway, back to the question(s).

Luke 16 the parable of the shrewd manager. I am not sure what to think of this. What does it mean? We often quote verse 13 about not being able to serve two masters. That verse makes a very good point. But what is the point of verses 1-12? What are we supposed to learn here? What are we supposed to pass along to future generations about this passage? Did I miss what earlier generations passed along about these verses?

Wrong Message?

I saw on Cope's blog and on the news last night that the NFL cracked down on a church which was going to have a Super Bowl Bash. They were going to show the game on the projection screen. (Don't you wonder how they found out? My guess is they have "cops" searching on the net, media reports, etc. which is sad to me.)

The NFL has the legal authority to do this. I don't agree with it but it is the law.

On that news story, the reporter interviewed a local church for reaction. The pastor couldn't believe the NFL either and said they were going ahead and projecting the game on their screen.

What kind of message is that church, and others like it, sending? We know this is illegal but we are moving forward anyway?

Strange Sight

On the way to work on the slushy roads, the snow was slowly starting to fall some more. Drivers were actually being appropriately cautious today. As I was waiting to head up the on-ramp to 169, I saw a strange sight for February 1, especially with the snow.

A truck turned in front of us to go on that same on-ramp . . . with his boat in tow!!

Midday Update - Strange Sighting #2

Snow on the ground, more forecast, temperature freezing, at best. Man seen wearing tennis shoes, a cowboy hat, no coat, t-shirt and shorts!!!

Makes me wonder what I will see this evening!!

Why do we do what drives us crazy when others do it to us?

Do you ever notice something you get upset about in others is usually something you do?

I was on my way to work this morning and noticed a truck who was cutting in and out of traffic and cutting people off. Have you ever noticed that if someone cuts that person off, they ride the tail of the car who cut them off? They get really upset with people who do what they do!!

I began to wonder if we paid more attention to the things that drive us crazy and try not to do those things to others what a difference that would make.

Teaching Respect - A Very Lost Art

I heard Tim Russert make a presentation today in Tulsa. His presentation was insightful in many ways. I loved how he continues to talk about his Dad so fondly. I must admit, I didn't realize he wrote a book about life lessons he learned from his Dad.

One story he told resonated with me. He told the story in the context of doing the right thing and how we are taught the importance of doing the right thing. In my opinion, he was taught the difference between right and wrong and respect for people primarily at home. Again, in my opinion, his parents respected others to instill in Tim a sense of right and wrong.

The story was from Tim's days in Catholic schools. He mentioned one of the Fathers at the school (are there more than one?) bounced him off a locker for, as Tim said, one of many reasons. Tim said he asked the Father something to the effect, what about mercy? The Father replied mercy is up to God, I am about justice. Tim commented about how different that is today. The Father or any school teacher would most likely get sued.

Interesting, isn't it??

Voices in the Stall

Before church services today, I stopped by the restroom. In the stall, a man was helping his 3 year old daughter finish.

"Thanks, Dad . . . thanks Big Guy"

I had a smile on my face the rest of the morning.

Tonight at church. The 3 year old is behind us before the singing began with her parents. A man had gotten her to do the Hook'em Horns. One of her parents is an OU grad and the other is an A& M grad. Hook'em Horns is not acceptable! The 3 year old figures out her parents aren't fond of the Horns and looks at the man and says "I don't belong to you!!" We laugh and she looks at all of us and says, "Don't laugh!!"


Switch gears.

In another conversation after church a young man is talking about setting a date for his marriage to his pregnant girlfriend. He mentions a court wedding. He talks about how much his girlfriend wanted a church wedding. They talked to the pastor of her church and he said they couldn't get married there because she was pregnant. (I wonder why we forget so quickly how Jesus dealt with the lady caught in the act of adultery!!)

A friend of mine was with me. We talked about how we think they can have the church wedding at Memorial. At that point, my friend continued to minister by an awesome display of speaking the truth in love. He talked about how God's plan is clearly to have the man and woman become one in marriage before the children. However, God allows us to start over each day and try to live the way He has called us to live.

Where Does God Want Me To Go?

I often wonder how you know when what seems to be an obvious decision is from God or Satan? Even if it is from Satan, doesn't Romans 8:28 still ring true? God calls us to suffer. Since he allowed Job to suffer so strongly by Satan, why do I think should be immune?

I often think about just quitting my current life, packing my bags and going to Africa. As I mentioned the other day, I have grand plans on how God could use me. I also have an ego problem. Like a lot of things in my life, I try to keep this hidden. I know. God knows.

I don't think there would be anything wrong with making an abrupt change. Would it be from God or just my worldly thinking? God knows what is going to happen in my life. When I think of God being in control, I am not one of those who believes every step is planned out in advance. I think God clearly has in mind for me to live up to the potential he created in me. I am his. I am created in his likeness. I have the ability to be like him. I am called to be like him.

I am not like him. I think I suffer from looking too far into the future. I have plans out a decade or two in the future. I don't think this is inherently wrong. I think I make it wrong because by focusing that far out, I miss the opportunities to be like him right in front of me.

As I struggle with the major questions in life, I wish I would get better at daily journey. In the book I am reading now, Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell, some words rang true. God has faith in me to live up to what he created in me. I am disappointing God by not living up to his faith in me.

Tagged

My lovely wife, I call her Angel, tagged me so here goes.

The tag was to pick up the book nearest me and turn to page 123, go four sentences down and record the following three sentences and then give the author, name of the book and tag three others.

Page 123 was the beginning of a chapter so here is page 124

"They realized that something much bigger was going on here, involving them and the people around them and all of creation. Something involving God making peace with the world and creation being reclaimed and everything in heaven and earth being brought back into harmony with its Creator. But before all the big language and grand claims, the story of Jesus was about a Jewish man, living in a Jewish region among Jewish people, calling people back to the way of a Jewish God."

Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis

I tag my Mom, my Father-in-law and my Mother-in-law. I am also throwing down a challenge to each of you to begin blogging. You three have VERY rich lives. You change people who are privileged to be around you. Your stories are great stories of faith. SO, what do you think?

Inspiring Sadness

Today, I went to a funeral of a great young man, Adam Langford. I didn't know him personally. I was connected to him, though. One connection comes from a great friend, Clint Davis, who was able to recently spend some time with Adam in Uganda and Rwanda. Terry Rush is always commenting on how we are connected through God's wonderful family. I was connected to Adam through my family at Memorial. I was connected through Adam's brother Ben. We (Memorial) support Ben, Kim, Elijah and Baby #2.

Danna was at Quail when Adam and Ben were growing up. Danna commented on the way home that she always wished she could have spent time with Adam and Ben's parents. When they got a chance to participate in worship at Quail as teenagers, she said she questioned whether they were teenagers because of the depth of what they communicated. Danna said she wanted to spend time with their parents to understand how you raise such Godly young men.

Many connections. Many blessings. All that was part of the funeral was very emotional. We laughed some. We cried a lot. Usually, lives are impacted by someone directly. My life was impacted greatly today by a man I never had the pleasure to meet.

I have been to funerals before for people I didn't know all that well. I often wonder if what was said was really true. I know it is true to the people speaking the words, but the way they portray the individual, I wonder.

NOT TODAY!!! I don't wonder at all. I KNOW, as one speaker said, that words cannot capture Adam. Knowing Clint and hearing Ben speak before, I know that what was said about Adam was true. The best part is that it is so true that Adam will live on in how he inspired, even during the sadness!!

Ben spoke of Adam during a wonderful eulogy. He started by addressing, in Lusoga (sp?), those in Jinja, Uganda who were watching by webcast. Although I couldn't understand all of it, I understood Adam and Moses names. I WILL NEVER FORGET THOSE NAMES!!!

Ben told a story of a man in a pit. He told that story in Tulsa back in the fall when I got to hear him at U4U United 4 Uganda. I am afraid I am one of those business men who just drops off a check. I want to be more. The questions in my head are more intense after today.

The most credible reason I know what was said about Adam was true is that Ben read words that Adam had formed. The perspective from Adam's words really challenged all who heard. It challenged us to be more transformed by God. We need our hearts, our minds and our eyesight transformed. Adam challenged us to suffer with the suffering.

I am so insulated from them. I so often find excuses for why I don't change my approach to life. One of my biggest problems is that I am looking for solutions, big solutions. I want to make a big difference. I have an ego problem. I want to have people say good things about me. I care more about what people say about me rather than what God says about me. God has spoken. What you did for the least of these you did for me. WHY can I not overcome this even when I know it and admit it? I am afraid. I mentioned the questions in my mind. I want to be doing something different but I am afraid to take the steps.

Adam's words intensified the questions in my mind along with recent challenges from some books I am reading. I have struggled with Shane Claiborne's interpretation of "you will always have the poor among you". I often use this to justify that I can't fix it. Shane's take is that we are supposed to have the poor among us - we need to be rubbing elbows with them, helping them, sympathizing with them. I don't. Another from Shane. Generosity is not measured by how much you give. It is measured by how much you have left. I have much left. Guilty!!

Adam, thank you for inspiring me today through the sadness. I promise to continue to transform, to rise to your challenge. I pray for God's continued forgiveness and grace for the slowness of my transformation.

Other thoughts from today.

Clint - I love you. My heart hurts for you. I know your head is spinning. You challenge me as well. I look forward to your continued transformation as you let God lead you to answers from all the things spinning in your head.

Heather - As I said to you after discussing how Adam inspired us today, you also inspire me. You fill your space in God's world VERY well!! I love you.

Danna - You inspire me everyday!! Thank you for listening and helping me address the questions in my head. I LOVE YOU!!!

Advice to Brandon

Brandon came over last night after he got back from Christmas in Nebraska. He was REALLY wound up!! He was talking up a storm and laughing - oh I love his laugh!!!

Brandon loved his gift cards which provide two very important things for him - gas for his car and food for his belly!! He was especially excited that he could eat at places other than Bueno. Not that Bueno is bad but he likes a little variety. Bueno is good but most importantly - CHEAP!!!

I told Brandon that later in life when he is married, I hope his wife gets a Christmas present like Danna got this year. Brandon asked "Gas logs?????".

I told him about my office Christmas party. Not long after we got there, I was introducing Danna to one of our managers whom she had not met before. Alisha had just recently returned from her honeymoon. Alisha told Danna it was very nice to meet her. She then told Danna that I talk about her a lot at the office. Then came the Christmas present. Alisha told Danna "He loves you so much!!"

I do hope and pray that Brandon is able to give presents like this to his wife. Even though teenagers don't often listen, you know they hear. Often, things stick in their brains and you don't even know it. We talk often about God and what he is doing in our lives. I pray that Brandon gives the same kind of present to God that I am praying for him to give to his future wife.

Early Christmas Present

I had a rough conversation with B on Thursday. He told me at the end of the conversation that he wasn't going to go to dinner with us on Friday, as planned. He uses his lack of presence as a means to punish me.

On Friday while Danna and I were playing golf, Nan called and said a lady came by See's. Nan asked if she could help her. The lady said no but mentioned that one of her employees from the store at the mall said his grandparents were working so she just stopped to say hello.

It made Nan's day. I could tell she was just beaming even though I was only on the phone.

I called Brandon and left him a message telling him how much it meant to Nan and Don and that I was very proud of him.

He did meet us for dinner.

Money, Muslims and Christians

I recently participated in several conversations about a Muslim man who made a generous gift to an organization with Christian goals and ideals.

One of several comments made was how in years past, a gift like this would have been refused by many (most?) Christian religious organizations. I see this position as ludicrous!! When we talk about our money not being ours but God's, I guess that doesn't apply to other people's money? It seems to me we are refusing God's money!!

What if someone won the lottery or made money from a "gentleman's club" or whatever and wanted to give that money to church? Why would any church refuse it? I know there would be plenty of talk if they did!!! In my opinion, if we refuse that type of a gift, we are in effect saying that our money is more holy than others. Even though God loves them, it is OK if we don't.

Another comment that really caused me to think was that Muslims want to change the world. They are all committed to eliminating the infidel. I really don't believe that.

Many non-Christians believe all Christians are the same - they want to change the world. I KNOW that is not true. It struck me that it is sad that we are not the same in that we are not always trying to make a difference in this world in the name of Jesus.

I guess I am sad that all Christians are not what we ought to be (especially me!!). I am thankful that God is patient. I wonder if I talk about God's patience when he is really disgusted with me?

I am grateful that not all Muslims are committed to destroying anyone they refer to as infidels. I am grateful there are different kinds of Muslims at the same time I know there shouldn't be different kinds of Christians.

I pray that I will be more bold and all Christians will be more bold in speaking and showing Jesus. I pray our love of others, including Muslims, will be so evident that they will have to find out why we are able to love that way - that they will find Jesus through us.

I Listened - Well, at least once.

After church today, I saw a lady who had just buried her Mom right before Thanksgiving.

As I walked past her while she was talking to a couple, I noticed her eyes first and how tired and hurt they looked. Her eyes were surrounded by a face that was waving the white flag.

I stopped, turned around and went back. I didn't say anything as I walked up and intruded in the little group of three that were talking. I just gave her a hug. As I started to hug her, she said "Thank you, I needed that." I just kept hugging her. As I could sense her starting to tear up, I teared up as well. I finally looked at her and said just a few words. I told her I was sorry.

I was taught by many people after my Dad died that no one has the words to say. We often don't approach someone for fear we will say the wrong thing. Sometimes, when we do approach them, we walk away wondering why we said something so stupid.

Communication is so much more than words. Why do we so often insist on using them?

Is Listening Different Than Hearing?

I find us very interesting. We can be apart from each other for long periods of time and go on as if time stood still when we are good friends. What allows people to become good friends? Sometimes we say that opposites attract. Sometimes we talk about what we have in common. Which is correct? Are they both correct?

What causes people who have developed a close friendship to lose what they developed? From my point of view, it has a lot to do with the ears. I believe our sense of hearing has been incredibly dulled. We have noise going on around us all the time. We have televisions with so many channels we can surf endlessly and still not find "something to watch". We won't turn it off just to sit in silence. We have radios in our cars. Mine has the satellite radio so that, just like my TV, I can surf endlessly and still get frustrated that I have "nothing to listen to".

We don't listen to our friends. We barely even hear them because we are thinking of the next thing we are going to say. We don't really listen to what they say because we don't really hear the clues they are giving that they are hurting.

We don't listen to ourselves when we know we are bothered by something we need to discuss with them. Our silence causes us to begin to resent them in a small way. If we do finally say something, it is often at a time when we have "had enough" and we explode. Explosions, even controlled explosions, are messy. Explosions can eat away at our friendships. If we don't eventually decide to say something, we just grow distant. You can't love someone from a distance.

It seems to me that my relationship with God is lacking because I don't listen to him. When I hear him, I don't do what he wants me to do. Hearing and listening are two different things to me. The other day I passed a car which had its flashers on and was sitting in one lane of the two going in the direction I was going. There were a few people sitting in the car. They looked like kids, definitley not adults. No one was in the drivers seat. I thought I should stop and help push the car. As I kept driving, I thought that I might scare them if I stopped. (You know I can be very intimidating!) I kept driving, wondering. As I got about a 1/2 mile down the road, I saw an older gentleman running back toward the car with a gas can which he had obviously filled up at the station nearby. I thought I should turn around and give him a ride back to the car. Again, I just kept driving and thinking that he would be back there before I could turn around, get back to him, pick him up and take him back to the car. I heard God telling me to help others. As I often do, I didn't listen.

I wonder why God is so patient with me??